Hockey on Wheels

Playing hockey with my family on the Morweena rink.
What an awesome Christmas!

Just a quick note that I am doing quite well. God's peace is absolutely incredible. My pain is pretty well managed but I have had a bit more pain lately. My mind is more clear than it was and I am not hallucinating anymore. I still can't walk but rather spend my hours on the couch or wheelchair.
I've had more difficulty sleeping due to some of the medication so that is something I'd appreciate prayer for.
Radiation starts on Monday but I'll have a break on the 25th & 26th. Currently we are at my parent's in Morweena enjoying some extended Christmas gatherings.
Thanks so much for the thousands of prayers. God is faithful and is completely in control. All He asks is that we praise and trust Him.
Ramona

Alright...I'm sitting on my couch watching Ramona sleep. The house is cleaned up (Ramona's mom has been with us for the last few days...which was absolutely perfect), and I'm sick of trying to find gifts on ebay. Anyway, that last post was short exactly because Ramona's meds are affecting her mind quite a bit. In fact, I had to write those last two sentences for her.
As we mentioned previously, chemo is on hold as we deal with the tumor on the right leg that isn't responding.
We had a meeting with Dr. Akra on Tuesday. He's in charge of radiation and we're really impressed with him. We feel like he's putting in an impressive effort to have Ramona's radiation pushed through quickly. It's a process that, if we don't pay attention, or if Ramona isn't prioritized will get put off until after Christmas. As it looks now, radiation should begin within the two weeks. The CT Simulation that was scheduled for next week, has been moved to tomorrow.

In dealing with the long term, a radiated tumor will grow back. This means that we need to deal with a surgery to remove that tumor.
We were also able to talk to the surgeon on Tuesday...
I'm pretty sure I used to be a nice/patient person....but when people dealing with Ramona see the glass as half empty...(and I mean very empty).......

I think I'm just going to change the topic. I can't afford to be distracted by people without hope.

I'm not gonna lie. Every part of me that is a natural human being gets pretty scared in the middle of all this stuff. It's not my idea of fun to have Ramona be so heavily medicated...
I'm incredibly thankful for the thousands of people praying for us. There are also, people fasting and praying for us. Thankyou so much.

I meant what I said with "we have no Plan B". I find it so hard to live like that. I feel like I would gladly learn to trust God with everything.......if Ramona's life wasn't on the line. I have horrible visions of everything going wrong and people trying to explain to me that God is still good...and then be back to a safe, powerless God. How disgusting wouldn't that be, for God to be safe and powerless.

The Bible teaches us to pray " Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven". It's our role to pray that the kingdom come.........

I'm simply angry at how many people i see sick all around me...there is provision for healing...

In my reading, and from talking with people I notice a huge difference between people who are experiencing God...and those whose Christianity is in all practicality atheism.....
Maybe I'm more frustrated with what I see in myself. When I fear, I am agreeing with Satan. I'm agreeing that God can't fully be trusted.
I read of people who have a life that demonstates "out of intimacy with God to destroy the works of the devil"
That is awesome. I could look inside myself and analyze all this stuff, but I promise you I will never figure it out. That is one of the most destructive things in Christianity, to look inside yourself and focus on all the things you could feel guilty about, or could change, or what ever.

Heb. 12:2. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith"
...this is more than just a good idea.....
It's such a huge temptation for me to look inside myself to think of all the things that I could have done differently in the last 2.5 years, or to fear the upcoming treatment decisions......

The spirit that raised Christ from the dead is inside of us as Christians.

Thankyou for reading my smattering of thoughts. If you want get to know a powerful God who is worth trusting with your life....pay attention....this story is not done.

I was discharged from St. Boniface on Sunday and my pain is much better managed. I'm still bedridden requiring help with even simple care. My brain is not working super well but my pain meds are. Thank you so much for praying. Let's not stop believing.
-Ramona

Well... I'm pretty sure Ramona is sleeping now. The last few days have been a pretty big battle to get her pain under control. On Wednesday (anniversary) , Ramona was just starting with the methadone, and it didn't really start providing much relief until, to my suprise, she felt "good" enough to head out to a restaurant for supper. I guess she was getting used to the new medication and so she fell asleep a few times at the restaurant, but it was incredibly special that it worked anyway. The leg tumor continues to affect the nerves in her leg, she just realized tonight that she can't really move her right foot much any more.
Yesterday, and parts of today had a lot of pain as they continued to adjust the pain medication. It seems to be fairly effective now...although Ramona is hallucinating sometimes.
Ramona is only taking one of the two scheduled chemo drugs. This is because we are hoping to have some radiation on that right leg (consultation appointment Dec. 9) ASAP. Adriamycin and chemo do not work together.
I can't do justice to any spiritual topic with the time left on this kiosk.............we know Jesus heals....The Bible has to be speaking the truth about the power of God...we have no Plan B...
- Earl

Thankyou to everyone who is texting and wishing us a Happy Anniversay today. We're celebrating quite a bit different than planned. We have the results from the CT scan. The tumors that we previously knew about shrank, but this previously mentioned leg pain is caused by a tumor in her lower leg. It is a 14 x 4 cm tumor that must not be responding to chemo, or else it would be shrinking now too. Today will continue to be filled with meetings with medical staff. Ramona's leg pain has quickly come to the point where her morphine dosages weren't cutting the pain. We're now in the process of trying new meds......now to my point. Keep praying. We've made it this far due to prayer. Thank you all so much.
-Earl

So...it's looks like we haven't written for some time. I think Ramona tried the other day...but I guess it must have disappeared.
Anyway, I guess we need to sum up the last two weeks. Ramona is heading into the hospital within a few hours to begin chemo round number 16. It's absolutely ridiculous. That's 885 hours that chemo has been pouring into her, never mind the hundreds of litres of other stuff. etc...etc..etc.

For some reason Ramona's leg continues to be a frustration. We're not sure why all the discomfort and pain is there. A bone scan for her leg is scheduled for a week from now.

This week is also the week the CT Scan is going to be done. Keep believing. It's often pretty easy for us to get discouraged with everything. It seems God has done everything except take the cancer away. It's really easy to forget all the little miracles that have happened along the way. Thank you so much to everyone who continually reminds us that you're praying.
I can smell supper,
Earl