Before I say anything else, I'd like to say thanks to all of you who encourage us. What an incredible feeling to know that hundreds are praying and begging God to show His glory!
Yes, I had an appointment this last week with my oncologist in Winnipeg, Dr. Wong. He confirmed that I will be having surgery on my left lung on August 7th. He wasn't comfortable with doing more chemo unless we absolutely have to. All chemo would really do is buy me more time. We were really excited about not doing more chemo now, but the reality still is that my cancer is growing rapidly.
Earl & I were at camp most of this last week. We came home Tuesday night and rested at home and then I went to Physio on Wednesday. Physio doesn't seem to be doing a lot yet. The stretches that I do are pretty hard on the rest of my body, so it's hard to be disciplined.
Today begins the last week of camp. I still believe that God wants us there, but it has been incredibly hard. One of my big struggles has been not being able to physically do all the things that I would love to do. I've taken it pretty easy and haven't been very involved. Being such a 'doing' person, this has been quite stretching. I was able to share my testimony on the anniversary of my diagnosis. I was able to share with the campers how God can use the scariest thing in our lives for something beautiful. I can honestly say that I have become a better person due to my journey through cancer. There are things that I have learned that I never would have had I not gone through this. I shared with the campers my dream of using my experience to encourage others, especially children, who are going through cancer or other similar trials.
This has so far, been my highlight of camp.
I have to admit that the future is pretty scary. Knowing that medically speaking there isn't much hope, forces you to think about life and the gift that it is. Some days I get so tired of fighting and wonder when it will ever be over. I still believe God has a much bigger plan than I can even imagine, but the truth is-there is no guarantee that that will involve me living until I'm 70 or 80. He might be glorified more by my death than by my life.
And so these are some of my thoughts. Thank you for your prayers and please keep them coming. It's my desire that one day soon, we can announce that I'm cancer free, however, that is not best for me right now.
Those of you who are living not too far away....
Feel free to come visit us at camp on Wednesday night
Ramona